Toora loora torra loo rye aye

I know I haven't posted in like a month and you are all probably dying to know whether I got chickens for Christmas (I did not) but before I update this blog with Christmas pics I need to recap NYE 2011's events before I forget.

So for NYE Nick decided to make reservations at an Indian restaurant for 10 o'clock, and then we planned on heading to a bar for a couple drinks to ring in the new year.

Well we show up at this indian place - right, and there is a guy in the middle of a make shift dance floor singing a power ballad.  And we were like that is a little odd - is it karaoke?  Turns out it wasn't Karaoke - it was just a DJ slash singer who played power ballads and dance music and occasionally broke out in song.  Please remember this was in the middle of an Indian restaurant.  We actually had the waiters encouraging us to get up and dance because everyone else seemed to be just as confused as we were about the whole dance floor in an Indian restaurant thing.  Nick told me I was racist when I asked our FOB waiter if he had requested Jai-ho, I guess political correctness is still something I need to work on.

By 11 there was one lady drunk enough to hit the stage, and after our fabulous meal (and a few drinks) I managed to get Nick up to dance to "Come on Eileen."  So yeah, at 11:30 on December 31st 2011 Nick and I danced to Come on Eileen in an Indian restaurant.

We bolted after that and went to a hipper bar where I worked it to Shakira -  hips don't lie just before the clock struck midnight and two scantilly clad girls with power tools jumped on the tables and created sparks from their crotches by sawing this piece of metal attached to themselves while dancing to gangster rap.

Right now Nick and I have absolutely no idea what 2012 holds.  We honestly do not even know which country we will finish 2012 in.  Everything is in the air.  But if last night is anything to go by... At least it will be interesting.

Happy New Year Friends.  May all your dreams come true!  

Only Read This If You Have a Vagina

I'm going to talk about periods.  I've been toying whether to share this fantastic product with you folks due to the fact that some people aren't cool with talking about periods.  And there is the possibility that my dad or other menstrual-phobic men folk might read this, or even menstrual phobic women and they would be totally grossed out by the knowledge I am going to share with you.


But this little invention is the best thing that will have happened to your period since you discovered if you skipped those 5 pills at the end of the pack then you can avoid the po po on important days of your life or vacation.  Also, I feel a moral obligation to my fellow sister friends to share this product that has changed my period for forever.  Seriously.  I don't have to buy tampons or pads ever again - think of all the money you'll save and it's better for the environment.  I have zero leaks.  There are no more awkward moments where I have to sneak a tampon out of my purse or accidentally pull one out in front of a dude while looking for a pen.  There is no super uncomfortable feeling when you put a tampon in at the end of your period and you take it out too soon and it gives you a little preview of child birth.  You can't get TSS from it - don't tell me you've never stressed about this.  Furthermore it's comfortable, and I feel so fresh and so clean with it.  


This miracle product is the Diva Cup, and although it has a super lame name, I suggest you purchase one immediately.  It is a little silicon cup that you fold in half and you stick up your hoo haa and then it pops open and forms a seal so every thing gets trapped in there.  When you need to (and I didn't need to more than once a day) you pull it out and you dump it down the toilet and you rinse it in some water and you pop it back in.  Easy.  Don't freak out about this.  It's not as gross as it sounds.  


I will admit that it took me two periods to totally get the hang of it, but now I absolutely love it.  Just give it a try.  At least google it for pete's sake.  


You'll thank me later.

October Trip to the USA - The Good, the Bad,and the Ugly.

The Good

• Spending time with friends and family
• My godfather's spectacular wedding to a girl we are pumped to welcome into our family
• Winning $100 at Keeneland horse races
• Taking my husband to his first public sporting event EVER, yay Bengals!
• Absolutely perfect weather... sunshine I missed you!
• My first hot yoga class with my sister 
• Food, food and more food.  My mom's home cooking really deserves a shout out. And I'm sorry British folks, but you're food sucks compared to American food.
• Outlet mall shopping.  Hell yeah.
• Nick feels a renewed sense of America's awesomeness.  Hopefully that means we will move back sooner rather than later.

The Bad

• 10 days is not long enough
• Accidentally leaving my digital SLR on the train platform at Sheffield Station on our way to the airport. (Although the good thing is it has been recovered!)
• Watching the $100 we won dwindle away to $2... but at least we still came out on top!
• I probably gained 10 pounds.
• It's raining a lot in England now.

The Ugly

• Listening to the advice of the lady on the train to get off the train and go back and get my camera.  A train NEVER came going the other way, we almost missed our flight, and this resulted in a lot of gesticulating and a few choice words between the husband and myself.  
• Drinking too much wine at aforementioned wedding and thinking it was hilarious to tell a woman that her kids were "mediocre at best." even if she knew I was joking - lets just say other ladies did not...
• Man in front of me doing a downward dog in boxers at hot yoga class, dudes should be required to wear briefs for these occasions... talk about an eye full. 
• Getting in a dispute with the 20-something high on herself snooty snooterson at UK border control who told me I had to go to the back of the foreigners line because I went through the British ppl's line because I was with Nick.  Apparently we are supposed to split up to go through different lines because all the other people with foreign passports are going to be mad at me for cutting in line even though I have indefinite leave to remain in England and a british husband.  Are you following?  Anyways, she sucked.

Dear August, (Yes the entire month.)


Could you please be over already?  You totally suck.  I really have not appreciated what you have thrown at me this month AT ALL... Including but not limited to...

• Studying for a Life in the UK citizenship test
• Taking a Life in the UK citizenship test.
• Dealing with massive amounts of Visa drama.
• Paying £1,500 pounds to swiftly end visa drama... but then having financial drama as a result.
• Spending the whole day at the immigration offices (I've never been to the ER but I imagine it was a similiar vibe.)
• My childhood dog dying
• Knowing that that means it is time to grow up a little.
• Getting two job interviews....and not getting either of the jobs.
• Note:  When can I be grown up enough to consider feedback "constructive criticism" and not negative/you suck at life and are a complete failure criticism?

Sincerely,

Kelly Leigh who is insanely busy

ps.  Yes, I am throwing myself a pity party. You're invited.

pss. I know it is ironic that the busier I get the less I post on Kelly Leigh Gets Busy.   

You know you've had a bad week at work when....

.... you not only decide to totally blow your diet (I HAD lost 2 pounds this week) and bust open your very last bag of nestle toll house chocolate chips (they don't sell them in England) to make cookies....

But you also decide it might be a good idea to stuff half a dozen of them with Nutella.  

Yeahhhhhhh.... fat girl decisions.

I need a new job before I become morbidly obese.

Also in an interesting twist of hormonal imbalances and a moment of enlightenment I burst into tears last night because I decided my job must be punishment because I was a very bad, horrible, judgmental person.  (most notably between the ages of 12-17).  I have since seen the light and am no longer super duper judgemental, but I have recently decided that my karma is bad from my being so awful previously.  I'm on a mission to restore my karmatic  balance, but I'm not sure where to start.  

Do you believe in karma?  Any tips for setting it right? 

PS.

If I have ever been a snooty bitch to you I'm sorry.

Can I get you a cookie?  I have a lot and I'll share.  

Warrior Princesses Bike to Work

You know when you see an amazing dress on the rack and you go to try it on and it just doesn't look that good on you?  ...But you like the thought of it so much you buy it any ways.  That's what biking feels like to me.  It's a forced friendship and it's not coming naturally.  But I really want to love it.  I have been wanting to ride my bike to work for ages now, but fear was totally holding me back.  I was scared I would get hit by a car, that I would get lost, and that my ass was just too fat to be pedaling up that massive hill on my way home.  But last week my cycling Aunt accused me of making too many excuses, so I did what anyone would do -I proved her wrong. (which was probably her intention all along.)


I left the house at 7:30 this morning and it was a nice sunny day, but the air was crisp.  I didn't realize how crisp until I was cruising down some big hills and my poor little fingers were absolutely frozen.  I literally had no idea how cold biking makes your fingers.  It was painful.  By the time I finally got to work I was sucking my thumb like an awkward adult just trying to warm it up before frost bite set in (dramatic, yes)


My journey to work was not uneventful.  The part of the trip that I thought would be relatively stress free was not at all.  Tram lines dissecting the road were a perfect wheel sized trench for my tires to get stuck in.  However, I only let it happen once, and then I was tackling all tram lines with aggression.  I proceeded to get lost in the city center while trying to avoid some bigger, unnecessary hills but made it to work with time to spare.  


The ride home was more stressful because it was rush hour, and I'm sure drivers were cursing me and the Duchess as we plodded along.  I felt like such an amateur when Lycra clad bikers were tackling major traffic and zipping by me.  I nearly got hit by a car as I wrangled those damn tram lines again.  But I made it to safely to my last major hurdle, Loxley Road.  Here the traffic slows from city to country, shops fronts are replaced with fields of horses, and the incline gets steadily more intense.   In the beginning I told myself, "I'm alright, it's not as bad as it looks."  But as it soon got to be as bad as it looked, I had to drop a few F bombs in my head and remind myself that I was in fact, "a mother fucking warrior princess." And warrior princesses do not give up and they have super strong, (sexy and toned) thighs and they're fit and bad ass (and have nice asses too).


So did I make it to the top?  You betcha.  By the time I finished I looked more like a purple people eater than a fit and fabulous warrior princess, but what an enlightening feeling reaching the peak was!  I conquered my fears, I cheated death, and the only thing that seemed to be injured besides my ego was my badly bruised beaver (if ya know what I mean).  Not bad for a Monday.


And so I will keep trying to learn to love my two wheeled vehicle.  I will burn calories instead of gas, and feel empowered by the strength of my body and my independence from unreliable transportation.  But honestly, I probably won't do it everyday.

January Update

Hi Friends,

I know I've been totally slacking on the blogging front.  I've been getting busy, but my new found life as an employed member of society has been leaving me with less time for superfluous bloggy activities.  Anyways, here are some updates about life around here since the last time we left off...

• I have nicely adjusted to working life.  I thought I would be super duper tired, but I'm not.  The only thing I struggle with is boredom.  My job isn't that interesting.
• I have been going to the gym A LOT more in hopes of shifting some of this Christmas weight.
• Last week I ran, swam, and went to spinning, some activities more than once, and I gained a pound.  Typical.
• I rode The Duchess to the post office yesterday - it was the first time I have rode my bike to do an errand and this made me feel quite proud (and cold).  Nick even took a picture...

• Ironically, I was going to post a form to obtain my provisional driving license.  
• We have been seriously slacking on our DIY activities.  
• But we have finished some things, and I feel like I am a bad blogger for failing to post pictures, but I am always embarrassed of what a slob I am - as soon as a room is finished it is a mess.  Nick says I am trying to create a "show home" that is why the pictures are so long in coming... but I will post some soon...  Maybe even in progress ones?  Do we like in progress shots - or just straight up before and afters?
• Yesterday we went to B&Q (a DIY store) to get back on the DIY train.  We bought lots of blue-ish paint samples for our kitchen.  
• I've been told you're not supposed to paint kitchens blue because blue is an unappetizing color - but encouraging me to eat less seems like it can only be a good thing, no?
• At B&Q I also went a little overboard with the purchase of these...

• Apparently I want to be a farmer.  I will keep you updated to whether I have a green or a black thumb.  FYI all of these have sow dates in February (at least in the UK), so if you want to try farming too go buy some seeds now! 
• Also on the subject of food... I have started planning our meals for the week now, to minimize our (outrageous) grocery bill by only buying things we need, and making cooking after work a less daunting task.  I was thinking about posting our meal plan on this here blog, and letting you all vote on what you want to see featured here.  Thoughts?
• Heidi has been a naughty little dog since I went to work.  See below, that is sour cream on her head.

• Earlier in the week I got a bad report from her dog walker, who said that he let her run around on "the commons" and she refused to come back for 30 minutes because she wanted to play.  Later that night I took her for a run, and when we came home she kept complaining about how bored she was.  She also had a pimple on her nose.  I think it is a case of teenage angst. 
• She also chewed up a pair of my shoes for the first time this week.  She never chews things (except for raw hide) so this was a big surprise.
• Annnnnnnnnnd she just stole a pineapple carrot muffin I had cooling on the counter.  Fail.  
• She liked it so much she even ate the wrapper.  They were good.  I'll post the recipe.    
• We're working on retraining her.  

That's all folks.  

How was your January?  

Hope it was fantastic!!

I Don't Feel Like Dancing...

This weekend would have been an ordinary weekend.  Friday night was spent watching a movie on the couch, Saturday we went grocery shopping, and came home had a little dinner and snuggled up yet again to watch a movie.  Truth be told, I am not a massive fan of watching TV, but Nick loves watching movies, so I usually humor him.  But last night, when I Love You Phillip Morris was over, and Nick started scanning his media center DVD collection for something to put on next, I had had enough.  


I got up turned off the TV and said,

"Nick, I am sick of wasting my youth sitting on the couch with you.  

Get dressed.  We're going out."

Considering we have not gone out on the town together for the entire year and a half that we've been married, he was pretty confused.  But he sarcastically got dressed as I put my make up on half jokingly.


I continued with my little game and got dressed and told him to call a cab, which really confused him, and maybe it confused me a little too, because I didn't believe we'd actually end up going out.  Nick really hates dancing, and thinks that drinking with me at a bar is a waste of money since drinking at home is much cheaper.  But he did call a cab and we did go out.


And we finally explored the Sheffield night life scene.  It was a strange combination of college students and mature folks.  We heard live music and techno, and even the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song (in a trendy club - weird right?).  We took shots and danced dirty until the early hours. 


We woke up this morning with hang overs, but you know what - we had fun.  Much more fun than if we had stayed at home to watch another movie.  


I am a naturally lazy person.  I wish it wasn't true, but really, I am pretty damn lazy.  I am constantly trying to fight my urge to be lazy.  But sometimes it is just easier to lay on the couch than get up, get dressed, and put your dancing shoes on.  


I just wanted to share this little story to remind you (and me) that while we're stuck in our houses, life is happening outside.  People are doing, dancing, creating, laughing, moving, motivating.  And sometimes you (I) need to turn off our computers, turn off the TV, and start living life.  

The truth is...

• Today was my first day of my new job
• I never understood how people could get "stuck" in life.
• And now I can't figure out how to get unstuck.
• I love having guests.
• Every time a guest leaves it makes me feel a million times more lonely than before they came.
• I had separation anxiety about leaving my dog alone today.
• She is probably my best friend.
• I am so scared of failing, sometimes I don't try.
• I thought I would get skinnier when I joined a gym in December, but every single night when I try to book a spinning class online, they're full.
• Is that karma?
• I hate being fat, but I can't stop emo eating.
• When I was a kid I used to make butter burritos.  Recipe : Spread butter on a tortilla, microwave until butter melts.  Add more cold butter.  Wrap.  This will give you the perfect mix of cold and melty butter.
• If you're not judging me right now, I'm judging YOU.    
• I haven't had a butter burrito in a while.
• I think this this picture just might epitomize my perfect life and I have looked at it a million times.

• I wonder if America is better in my head than it is in real life.  I haven't lived there for a year and a half now.
• I really want to be an urban beekeeper and have chickens.
• And ride my bike every where.
• Apparently Nick's mum is allergic to bees and Nick has never been stung so he isn't so sure about my bee keeping idea.
• I wonder if I will miss England when we leave.
• I have made a lot of deals with God lately and I'm not sure I ever hold up my end of the bargain.
• I still haven't sent the Christmas presents I bought.
• I do not remember the last time I slept through the night.  
• I should probably get some pills for that, but I hate doctors.  
• ...and fashion blogs.  There I said it.  But I like the girls who write them because I think they're cute.  but I hate how much fashion bloggers shop.  It seems really wasteful.  Sorry.  

2010 in Review

In January we went to pick out our little German Shorthaired Pointer Puppy.  I finished my first house project - redecorating the spare bedroom in Nick's London house, Cecilia came to visit, we went to Sheffield for Nick's job interview and to pick up Heidi and take her home.  I went to the theater twice - Avenue Q, then Nick took me to Cirque du Soleil.. where he dropped his phone down a gutter.  We also found out that we were moving to Sheffield!

In February we took our picture a lot, we went up to Sheffield to house hunt, took "Meadow Lane Marlene" for her first walk (of shame), we redid the conservatory, and we ate at Borough Market.

In March we felt homeless, because no one would let us take our puppy into rented accommodation.  We started to look a like.  I got muffins, hash browns, and okra published on foodie websites.  On the 25th we said goodbye to Nick's childhood London home and moved up North to become Yorkshire folks.

London house...

Sheffield rental.

In April we really adjusted to country life,  celebrated Easter,  we were thrilled to discover a place that did Mexican food, I continued on my unsuccessful quest to make vegetarian marshmallows. and I wrote my first Bucket List.

In May we were loving the neighborhood in the spring, I joined a rowing team,  Heidi got spayed, and I donated blood.

In June, Heidi learned how to pick up her toys, Nick and I joined (and admittedly soon quit) a cougar club, but not before going on a chocolate tasting with them.  I started painting again, won a race at a regatta, and my generous parents bought me a plane ticket home!

In July, my good friend Sarah came to visit, and we went to Chatsworth and played dress up, drank tea, and ate ice cream.  I also ran 7 miles and updated my playlist, , painted Heidi, and climbed a tree.

In August I packed for Chicago, went on a cupcake crawl, got to be a bridesmaid for Amy's wedding, fulfilled a college dream to go to the cubs game with Liza, said goodbye to my Uncle Johnny, and Nick bought our first house while I was in America.

In September we did LOTS and LOTS of DIY.  Before moving into our half finished house.  There's not really many pictures, but I promise they are soon to be on their way.

In October I was reunited with my good Australian friend Ebony in London, we painted our bedroom to match our dog, and I started a Day Zero list.  I also experienced Halloween  creepy English style.

In November we did more DIY, went to Keeley and Ed's wedding, Nick surprised me with a Thanksgiving feast,  and we celebrated Nick and Heidi's birthday.  I drank a lot of water for H20-vember, and wore my hair in 7 ways for 7 days.

In December we got a ton of snow and my good friend Stuart, from Australia, came to visit, my birthday finally did not suck (pictures still need to be developed from my diana mini!) and we hosted our very first Christmas, complete with Nick's first real tree, and I got news that I would be employed in 2011!

Whew!  If you have made it this far - thanks for sticking around, and thanks for sticking around with me in general this year.  Your kind and thoughtful comments have continuously picked me up throughout this very difficult year and I appreciate all of you who stop by.  I'm wishing you all the best for 2011!!

Sunday Trading Hours

Dear England,


Let's be honest.  I've never liked you that much.  In fact, when I learned we had to live here rather than America, because of stupid immigration laws and such, I cried for about 3 days straight.  After that I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and I resigned myself to the fact that I could make the most of it.  Until I got here last July.  I walked in the front door of Nick's home in London and burst into tears all over again.  In fairness, England, that was his fault since he promised it would be freshly decorated and lets just say well... it was not.


Over the course of this year however, I think that we have for the most part made our peace with each other.  I no longer use the word "hate" when referring to this country, but you and I both know that I "prefer" America.  Sometimes I feel like we're colleagues that have to work together, so we're sucking it up and putting on a polite front, even though we both know that this relationship will never amount to a hardcore love affair or a forever friendship.


England, getting to this point in our relationship, it took a lot of work for me, you know?  But now I tolerate you, in fact I would go so far as to say that occasionally I even find you charming.  The views around here are pretty gorgeous if I'm going to be honest.


However, you went and effed it up yesterday.  Seriously, while I had great plans to schedule the most perfectly productive morning around a bus schedule that only runs ONCE an hour, YOUR stupid rules went and screwed up my meticulously planned morning.  My game plan was to catch the bus at 8:45, drop off our drycleaning, go to the DIY store, take a yoga class, and head home to spend the rest of the day working on our house.  Of course, I somehow manage to just barely miss the bus, making chasing it with my arms flailing like an asshole to catch it at the next stop seem feasible, but the bus driver failed to stop at the next stop and I was left in it's dust cursing public transportation.


Luckily, some woman named Janet took pity on my foolish looking self and offered me a ride to Morrisons, the grocery store where we get our dry cleaning done.  That was nice, and let me tell you England, you almost redeemed yourself there.  But When I got to Morrisons at around 9 am, I went inside, and tried to drop off my dry cleaning.  However, apparently, because it was Sunday, that means there are Sunday trading hours.  Meaning even though the store is OPEN at NINE, and there are PEOPLE working in the store, but you can't actually buy anything until TEN.  All you can do is BROWSE.  What the hell kind of sense does that make?  My plans were totally screwed up then and I just about threw a BF in the middle of the supermarket. Yes a Bitch Fit.


And you know what England, despite all the progress we have made together, this really made me want to punch you in your pasty, crooked toothed smiling face - if only you had a face, I think thats what it would look like.  Just one face to represent this wacky, backwards, wannabe version of the US.  Seriously, Sunday trading hours from 10-4?! Biggest crock of shit ever.


I'm going to try to pretend this didn't happen so we can get on with being amicable.


Sincerely,
Kelly Leigh

Baby I Like You Just the Way You Are

So I was going to post some pretty before and after shots today and show you some of the hard work we have been doing to the house, my new hair do, and my birthday present, but apparently, my memory card is broken.  Boo.  You'll have to wait to see what a hipster I have turned into lately.  Anyways here is a run down of the past few days with some Etsy art I've had my eye on just to spruce this lame post up a little bit.

Stella Stars and Stripes... 

I wish I could have one of these made of me and Doodle.

My birthday was on Saturday and it was very very good.  Nick got me a diana mini and I love her.  Then our Ikea furniture arrived and we spent the day building furniture.  We went out to a restaurant in Sheffield that was actually decent, (these are hard to find here) and saw the new Harry Potter movie.  Nick didn't get it so he has ordered all the previous ones on Love Film (similar to netflix) so we can have a movie marathon.  I hate movie marathons because my butt gets numb, but I kinda want to rewatch all the movies too.  Anyways the best part of Saturday was NOTHING bad happened.  This is unusual for my birthday.  I was soooo pleased.

Heart and Key Print

I want this for our bedroom super bad.

On Monday we went to London and I took my diana for her first real spin.  I hope the pictures turned out!  We had a fabulous time.  We went out to lunch on Charlotte Street, and shopped till we dropped on Oxford and Regent Street.  I was SO happy to find Anthropologie has opened on Regent Street, and I got a little overwhelmed at Top Shop.  I think I've been living in the country too long because the crowds were getting on my nerves.  But we still had fun.  I must say though I was disappointed the Christmas lights were exactly the same as last year, Nick says they usually change them each year, so it must be a recession thing.  Also, Selfridges is my favorite place to shop in London, but they TOTALLY let me down.  We were planning on picking up decorations in their Christmas shop, but they were all effed up and picked over.  I bought a pair of boots there too, but they have a tear I didn't notice and now I need to figure out how to return them without going to London.  Luckily, Anthropologie made up for Selfridges' suckage.

Humpback Whale Painting

This would be perfect for Nick's study, too bad it's out of our price range.

In other news, I had my hair highlighted blonde, but you can barely tell.  We picked out a new fireplace, I ordered flooring for the downstairs, I got a job interview (eeek!), it's snowing again and I'm almost finished painting the living room.  Once I get a new memory card I'll have so much to show you!!


ps. I found out what my mom got me for Christmas today, and I knew what Nick got me for my birthday a few days before hand.  Online shops should be more careful not to ruin surprises.  Do you guys know what you're getting?

Total Randomnessssssssss

Just some random updates/thoughts/etc...

• I joined a gym today. 
• This is a very good thing.  When we lived in London gyms were really expensive and smelled of BO and curry so I never joined one.  (gag me right?)  I assumed we couldn't afford one here either, but turns out we can AND they don't smell bad.
• I wonder how many spinning classes till my thighs stop touching?
• I am excited for tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the day our Ikea furniture arrives.
• I am worried for tomorrow.  Tomorrow is my birthday and it has a habit of sucking.
• I already know some of what Nick got me.  I wish I could open it now.
• I made this pumpkin bread pudding again last week and it is a tried and true classic.

• I got my hair cut on Wednesday.  I got bangs.  I always find getting my haircut in England is very strange because they always ask if I want them to wash it.  Duh?  Click here for hilarious picture of me with a very bad haircut, and previous story of English haircuts.
• I wanted my bangs to look like Miss Pandora's, but who am I kidding, they look more disheveled like this hipster girl's.  ps.  I love said hipster's apartment a lot more than her hair.
• My hair is only blonde on top so when I get bangs it makes it look like I dyed my hair dark brown, but I didn't, even though some people can't recognize me now.
• I am getting highlights next week to fix this problem.
• Bangs = Fringe in England.  English people think bangs is a dirty word.  
• As in... Johnny bangs Susan.
• I am not ready for Christmas.
• This is going to be my first Christmas away from my family, and if I think about it too hard I start to cry.
• But I bought myself red glitter nail polish and that makes me feel a little festive.
• We are going to London on Monday.  I can't wait to see the lights and the window displays.
• I miss London a little sometimes even though I hated living there.  I wish when we lived there we lived in a less ghetto neighborhood.
• I think it's funny when people here remember me only because I am American, and for some reason it really bothers me when they mistake me for a Canadian.
• I called someone an asshole on Facebook the other day because they implied that all unemployed people were lazy, lived off the government and played video games all day.  I feel kind of guilty about this, but I don't think I've played any video games this year.
• I don't like wearing jeans.  I do like my high waisted Zara pants.  
• I'm not sure if British people will ever think I'm funny, and I watched a British Christmas comedy last weekend where the main character got CANCER.  This confirmed for me that it is the British sense of humor that is the problem, not mine.
• I don't get a pitter-pattering in my heart / butterflies when I see pretty things like some girls say they do, but I really really love this dress.
• I also really wish that I had a holiday party to wear it to, like this one I threw last year.  But we don't have any friends to invite us to one, and I don't have any friends to invite to one.   
• I'm really good at throwing parties, so this is unfortunate for our nonexistent friends.
• I just realized that most of these bullet points start with I, and that I am really self centered.
• But lately I have gotten a lot better at feigning interest in other people's lives.  Note : people love to talk about their kids.  And pets.
• I actually like talking to people so it's not really feigned interest, only sometimes, when the person's kids or pets are boring.
• I quit rowing.  Sometimes quitting something is as hard as starting it, but it wasn't very good for me, and I put the money towards a gym membership.
• I can't wait to be a skinny bitch again.
• I haven't edited out my sailor's mouth as much I usually do in this post.  Sorry mom, and any one else I offended, but truth be told, I think nothing of using the C word -thanks to a year of living in the criminal colony of Australia.  They just cuss more there and I picked up some bad habits.  Someone should wash my mouth out with soap.
• Lastly, I feel like there were a lot of things in this post that I could have taken a picture of ie : red nails, hair cut, joining the gym "Before" pictures and my FUPA (yeah right), etc.  So if you made it this far and you have any photo requests, by all means, request away!

Today I am a Negative Nancy

I just need to spill my guts today.  I hope you're OK with that.  

I don't know whether it is the changing of seasons here right now, or the fact that I have inhaled a lot of paint fumes lately, but I am feeling pretty down in the dumps.

It might also be the fact that I've lived off mostly microwaveable food for the past 3 weeks, and it is sure doing weird things to my body.  My skin is worse than it was in high school, I feel fat and bloated, have no energy, and let's just say Nick and I would both benefit from this right now.  I'm not even joking.  How do people live like this all the time?  The large lady in front of us at the grocery store the other day was buying Mac and cheese IN A CAN.  I dry heaved.  Literally.  I didn't even know that existed till then.  The good news is our kitchen arrives Thursday and should be fully functioning by the beginning of next week.

Furthermore, every time I look at the doorsteps of our neighbors, which are devoid of any pumpkins or other Halloween decorations I feel kind of homesick.  Reading your blogs with pretty pictures of fall, apple picking, and Halloween decor is not doing me any good either.  I'm jealous and willing to admit that.  

Lastly, the fact that it is currently mid October and Christmas decorations are on sale is making me feel super anxious about life.  I feel like I have been very unproductive this year.  Like my personal world is changing around me but I'm not really making any of these changes happen like I should be, and I need to be a whole lot more active and creative and goal oriented.  I constantly feel like a lost puppy.  The good news is next week I managed to get 5 weeks of paid work, which will be the first work I have had since December last year, and bringing home a little bacon is sure to make me feel slightly more productive.

Do you ever think about how much time you waste watching TV, facebooking, or whatever else your vice is?  I wish I didn't check my email, facebook, and reader every 5 minutes.  My life would certainly NOT be worse off, but I can't seem to restrain myself.  I think it's an addiction.  Does anyone else have this problem.  Better yet, does anyone have a cure for this problem?  

Also, we really need cheap furniture, and there is no Ikea around here slash we don't have a car (did I mention my license is expired in England now, so even though we want one, I can't drive until I pass the super hard British test, which takes months to book anyways?).  Where do you buy cheap furniture thats not Ikea or stolen from your mom (mum)?  Our clothes are currently hanging in cardboard boxes.  It's not working too well.

That's all.  Sorry for writing an essay.

New House Stats

1.5 - Weeks since we exchanged keys to our new house
7 - Days I have spent stripping wallpaper
3 - More days I predict I will be stripping wall paper. 
2 - Number of wall paper steamers I have broken.  Who knew you had to refill them before they turn off?
0 - Major fights with Nick.
6 - Number of major fights I would have had with Nick had I been DIYing with him for a week straight this time last year.
79 - Pages I have read of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I credit with helping me fight less.
3 - contractors we have met with.
13 - days we have both been sick (just a nasty cold - no worries)
2 - weeks till move in.
0 - Rooms that are complete.
2 - Rooms that have flooring.
4 - awesome new neighbors we've met.  
5 - times we went to B&Q (DIY store)
19 - paint samples I have bought.
2 - colors of paint that we picked that are not in stock at our local B&Q.
109,284 - times I complained about not having a car.
1 - Pinky toe of Nick's that is still broken.
0 - Number of times Nick has complained about not having a car while walking on broken toe.
1 - New guest bed that has been purchased.
17 - days till our first guest arrives.  


Yikes!  That my friends is stressing me out.  And my blog is becoming so full of words and no pictures and I hate that.  I hope I will have some before and after shots to show you soon, but right now we're still plowing away through the before phase.  Wish us luck!

ps.  I'm pretty sure I stole the number post concept from Emz.  

A Conversation with a Cabbie

It started with the usual where are you from...?

America.

It progressed to making fun of my slight twang.

"You're a quacky yank.  Quack Quack"

Yeah, I've got a little Midwestern drawl.

Conversation turns to politics.

Oh, brother.  This is not my strong suit.

He hates Bush.  Typical. 

Loves Obama.  Also, typical.

Cried like a baby when he was elected.  

He even said.......

"His election was like God coming to Earth."

A reincarnation of JC?

Come on.

Then, it got personal.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

Yeah I guess.

About September 11th.

Uh huh.

When the pentagon blew up - they didn't find the bodies.  

How is that possible?

Me - I'm not one for conspiracy theories.

At midnight Nick and I were discussing this conspiracy theory bologna.  

And he pulled this up.  He figured I wouldn't watch it for more than 5 mins.

Like I said, Politics - not my thing,

 and political documentaries - really not my thing.

But an hour and a half later, 

this documentary was blowing my mind.

Seriously.

My. mind. was. BLOWN.

So my compatriots, I'm now wondering...

how do you feel about conspiracy theories?

Especially when it comes to 911.