The American Dream

In August 2013 my husband left his beloved job in England, where he worked as Head of Events and Commercial Development at Sheffield Hallam University, to join me in Columbus, OH as I complete my 4 years of veterinary medicine.  We were told by everyone that the connections we had in America combined with the skills Nick had, would be enough for us to make a good life here.  A year full of countless job applications and just as many rejections, and instead of working at an executive level, Nick spends his time running the family restaurant.  We can’t afford our bills, so we live off our savings and the profit we made from selling our first home.  Now, everyday I am saddled with guilt because I destroyed the career of the most important person in the world to me, my husband, just so I could pursue my own dream of being a vet.  How fucking selfish.  So many promises were made, and so many promises were broken.  My world view on everything shifted. 

My parents, who swore by their connections, were unable to set up a single interview for him.  My perceptions of them altered irrevocability.

I prayed before I asked Nick to move to the US.  I prayed a lot.  I cried a lot.  I asked God if this was the right thing for our small family.  I missed him so much as I was studying in the US for a year before he got his visa.  I could have sworn I heard God say, “Yes.”

I no longer believe in God.

Nick is the smartest person I know.  He is not the strongest, or the kindest, or the funniest.  I am not the kind of woman to brag about my husband, but he is really very fucking smart.  But for some reason, the recruiters don’t see this on his resume.  We think it’s because his credentials are British.  Our theory is his Bachelors degree only took him two years so even though he graduated with honors, Americans only see that his degree took two years instead of 4, and think he isn’t qualified.  Americans have never heard of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, one of the top drama schools in the world, where my husband went on multi country tours to improve their programs, nor have they heard of Sheffield Hallam University, one of the largest universities in the UK – so they assume it is small and insignificant.

If I could have one wish it would be for the American Dream to be real for us.  My husband deserves a chance.  Someone, please give this man a chance.  I want someone to look at his resume, really look at it, and then tell me he isn’t qualified for the jobs he’s applying to.    

I truly believed we would move to the US and be happy here.  Everyone told us the US was better than England.  Asking my husband to move to the US is the single biggest regret of my lifetime. 

And so it begins...

Hello Blog world,

I just wanted to stop in and tell you that I am back in the USA and I officially read and signed the veterinarian's oath on Friday.  Can you believe that?  It was a crazy week full of awful orientation ice breakers (not my scene) and meeting pretty cool new people.

I will probably post even less soon than ever before since apparently my life is going to be all consumed with studying and such, but I wanted to say thank you to the people who have been reading this and leaving comments through the past 3 years.  This blog has provided me with an outlet and a lot of support through some extraordinarily difficult times, including adjusting to England, a long stint of unemployment and funnily enough, moving back to the USA.  Please know that your kind words and encouragement were very much appreciated when I was down in the dumps.

Getting into vet school is hugely liberating and I am really really looking forward to starting it.  Please remind me of this when I am bitching about how hard it is.  Please also remind me that following your dreams is always worth it, because as happy as I am to start school, these two being 3,846 miles away sucks big time.

(this was taken on our 3 year anniversary)

Every time I start getting choked up Nick likes to remind me that 3 years ago I was curled up in the corner of a room sobbing about how much I wanted to be back in the states.  Funny how life is isn't it?

It's a Kind of Magic: Loxley

It's less than two weeks until I leave this place I've called home for the past 3 years.  Truth be told living in Loxley has been everything from awful to magical.  I'm not sure how I will come to remember this time in my life when I tell my grandkids about it in 50 years... but I guess I'll probably describe it as magical to them.  The way most people do... we seem to forget all the drama and create a rose tinted view of the world.  And thats how I want to remember it anyways...


So I made this little video of some of the magical bits of this place.  It's full of little details that mean nothing to you but everything to me, but I thought you might want to see it anyways.  





PS. I would like to note, less I look back at this video in 50 years to show my unborn children's unborn children... that I took some artistic liberties with the filming of it and only went outside on sunny days... of which there are very few around this part of the world.  ;)

One Way

After days and weeks and months of putting it off, today we finally purchased me a one way ticket home.  Not many people ever buy a one way ticket in their life, and I feel like today I joined this little group of one way ticket holders for the second time in my life.

The reasons people in our little one way ticket holder posse purchase a one way ticket will vary - maybe for money and opportunity, love or adventure.  If we're lucky all of the above.  With the risk of stating the obvious, there is an overwhelming feeling that when you purchase this ticket, that your life is inevitably about to change.

I think that is why we put it off for so long.  As excited as I am to start veterinary school in August - part of me is so scared and when I looked at Nick in the office of the travel agent it was all I could do to keep from breaking down.  

In a couple weeks we will have our three year anniversary, and somewhere during these past three years its become harder to picture life without him.  I know I am leaving England to pursue a dream, an American dream even.  And we know the American dream is one of the best and most powerful dreams a person can have - and I believe in the American dream for me.  I believe that if I work hard enough I can be whatever I want to be, and you know what, it's happening.  I worked damn hard to get into vet school and now I am on the verge of beginning this next chapter...

 but I'm also leaving my husband.... for 5 months - during which time he is unable to come to America due to absolutely ridiculous government legalities involving his visa process.  And this is the real bullshit.  Because Americans should be able to fall in love with whoever they want.  And part of falling in love and being in love is getting to touch your partner, and feel their stubble and bury your face into that spot on their neck where they smell like cool water and sweat.

I believe it is my American right to be able to spend time with my husband - whether or not he is in the middle of applying for a visa. 

Anyways, today I bought my one way ticket.  And thus begins the process.  Time together now will be veiled in a countdown, how many days do we have left before we part and begin the arduous 5 months apart?  

A one way ticket will change your life.

May Kaidee's Vegetarian Cooking School Bangkok

What vacation is complete without indulging in a bit of gluttony?  Absolutely none if you ask me!  And that is exactly what we got at May Kaidee's Thai Vegetarian Cooking School.  We learned how to make 14 delicious vegetarian thai dishes and this was honestly a highlight of our trip.  

May Kaidee is a charming personality and a good enough teacher to make you feel half like she thinks you're an old friend and half like she thinks you're an absolute idiot without being offensive at all... 

To be fair I've never cooked with lots of the Thai ingredients before so it was fair enough if she thought I was a bit daft.

She educated us pretty quick though by stopping at a spring roll factory (which was basically one woman with a hot pan and some dough) and then a little market shopping for galangal, lemon grass, and kaffir limes.

The group consisted of a couple international teachers (Canadian and American) and a UN worker.  

Pretty interesting group of people.

All cooking was done in a basic open air kitchen... 

And they have everything sliced and diced already so it was pretty easy.

This was Tom Kha Soup I think.. whatever it was it was unbelievably delicious.... 

We were pretty sweaty since we were cooking over an open flame in 90 degree heat.... 

Somehow the Thai ladies don't seem to have a problem with this.

I felt like such a huge sweaty beast compared to them the whole trip.

Also good to note: Apparently Thai herbs give you a "pleasing body odor."

Nom nom.

This is Som Tom aka green papaya salad and was one of my fave Thai dishes... 

May Kaidee apparently liked dancing, which was cool with me because I love dancing. 

So she showed us some of her moves...

You know, as people usually do after eating 14 dishes.

And even Nick joined in!!

I would put this on the must do list for any epicurean travelling to Bangkok.

Delicious and fun! Yay!

ps.  Delicious in thai is "Aroy" - definitely my favorite Thai word.

pss. I only learned like 3 Thai words.