I have a story to share with you. I wasn't sure whether to share it or not, because I don't want this blog to get emo or anything, but I think it's worthwhile and I hope maybe someone will benefit from it. I try not to talk about it much on here because it is such a debbie downer topic, but being unemployed is playing a huge role in my life right now. I'm writing this for those of you who are in the same boat, I know you're out there. I know you are lonely. I know you're trying your best. I know that no matter what people say, "staying positive" becomes harder with each failed job application. Not giving up becomes more and more difficult. I don't have advice, but I wanted to share this because being unemployed is quite possibly the loneliest experience ever. Not only do you most likely not interact with many people during the day, because you are at home applying for jobs, but you don't have the spare cash to really get involved, to go out, and to enjoy life. They say the best things in life are free, but lets face it, at least the second best things in life cost money. Don't get me wrong here, Nick makes enough money to support us, and we're not doing horribly, but if I could find work we would really be living the good life.
Nick has been telling me to go to Job Centre Plus, for a couple weeks now. Job Centre Plus is a government run organization that helps you find work and gives people "benefits" which I think is just a British term for welfare. Nick insisted that there would be jobs there that I couldn't find online, and after much kicking and screaming, we made a bargain and I finally went.
I haven't felt so embarrassed since junior year of high school when I ripped the loudest fart during a test in math class. I was there, me and my little white girl suburban raised American self, with the derelicts of society. The Job Centre was really busy, and I waited in line and when I got to the front desk I told the woman I just wanted help finding a job, someone to reread my resume. She looked at me confused, "You don't want benefits?" No. I just want help finding a job. She didn't know what to do. Could they even help me if I didn't want to make a claim? She sent me to a job kiosk, which are basically crappy computers which direct you to the same jobs they post on their website, while I was instructed to wait for a man named James who may or may not be able to help me.
I pretended to look for jobs but I was pretty distracted by the crowd. One man cussing at security and making loud, rude jokes, people smelling like cigarettes and BO, small children crying, most people had tattoos on their necks and many had piercings, almost all of them were in really crappy clothes. Then there were a few who reminding me of myself, they were well presented and had this look of "What the fuck has my life come to" smeared across their face. I saw one guy I knew from walking the dog, he told me he moved to Sheffield for work last time I spoke to him. I wondered whether he was lying when he told me about his job before, or whether he just got fired. I avoided him to spare us both the humiliation.
Finally I was able to meet with this James character. He was really nice, told me my resume was perfect and I shouldn't have trouble finding a job. He didn't really know what to do with me because I have a degree and most the people he helps don't. He stuttered a little and couldn't spell a lot of words, but he tried his best to help me and told me he may know of a position opening up at a dog groomers because the last derelict they hired was probably going to get himself fired. Cool. Anyways I think he liked me because I was polite and well educated. So I hope he remembers me if something comes up. I think he will.
I left feeling better than when I arrived. At least I know that I'm trying, that I'm taking advantage of the resources available to me, even if they don't seem very useful. And I knew that I wasn't alone. The recession is hitting hard, and this place was crowded, and even if it was mostly crowded with people looking for a free handout, there were still a few of us who just wanted a little help finding a job. And sometimes just knowing that you're not alone is enough to get you through the day.
