Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow?

Rather ravenously to be honest.  

I thought you might like to how green my thumb is...

We've got all sorts of stuff growing at Casa DeCourcy right now.

The only problem is we can't plant anything in our garden without it being terrorized by Heidi.

But, I'm pretty innovative and we have found some good growing solutions...

The hanging bags work like a charm because you can fit 7 plants in them 

and they are totally out of reach of the dog.  

They seem pretty happy in there so far,

 but we won't find out if there will be lots of tomatoes and tomatillos until later. 

Doesn't everything look so happy and healthy?  

Nick is getting a teensy bit irritated about the number of pots we have bought, 

but hopefully they will pay for themselves with fresh food goodness.  

I have big plans for making salsa. 

The only salsa you can buy over here is Old El Paso.  

Definitely not my favorite.... 

Thats why all visiting Americans are required to bring a jar of 

Rick Bayless's Tomatillo Salsa.

But hopefully this year I will be able to make my own!  

They don't even sell tomatillos in the grocery store here, 

in fact, no British person I have talked to even knows what they are.

In other news, people have been nagging me about this blog thing.  I wish I had new material, but truth be told, I haven't been getting busy that much lately.  My job is super duper horribly boring and I only really have my mind to entertain me which means no photos to share which means boring blogs usually.  But if you must know these are some things that have gone through my head at work lately...

(sorry for the repeats if you follow me on FB or twitter.)

• When I am at work I feel like Harry Potter must feel when there are dementors around.  You know when your soul gets sucked out and you feel like you'll never be happy again...?  Ok yeahhhh debbie downer.  
• I had the thought that I was Ash Ketchum the other day and that Heidi was pikachu and that I could tell her to shock everyone on campus.  That made work enjoyable for a few minutes.
• I have been thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of being in a 50 cent video, but everyone keeps laughing at me.  I don't really know why... 
• Today I occupied myself by reading The Jungle Book for the 2nd time.  Yeah I read the whole book today, at work, in it's entirety.  I need a Kindle.
• A few days ago I bought myself a pack of mints and ate them as slowly as possible for entertainment.  
• I put on hand lotion frequently to give myself something to do.
• On Wednesday I only sold £3.00 worth of stuff the whole day, and 60p of that was a candy bar I bought myself to eat because I was soooo bored.

In all seriousness I really need a new job.  I feel shitty saying that because when I was unemployed I told God that ANY job would make me happy, but I am a liar (public confession).  I need a job with challenges.  There are very few opportunities in Sheffield though so if any one wants to see my resume in the USA holler atcha girl.  I'm so ready to move stateside.  

In a positive note tomorrow is the Eurovision Song Contest and I am soooo excited for the ultimate display of Eurotrash to occur.  You can see my Eurovision 2010 Highlights post here.

We Live in a Cliche British Town

After Ebony and I played in London I took her back up to Sheffield to see my stomping ground.

The weather was grey and nasty and I can't imagine anything more cliche for her visit here.

I mean how predictable is it?!?

The fog and perfectly manicured gardens ...

The Very cliche red telephone box.

Of course she took the cliche tourist picture with it.

Warning : 

Although these look adorable,

 if you visit and try to get your picture inside of one, 

there is a 99% chance that when you open the door

it will smell very very strongly of urine.

There is an 83% that there will be photos of scantily clad women inside.

If you want, you can call them for a good time.

Cliche little village a couple miles from our house.  

Looking even more cliche in the fog.

We had tea in a little cafe / post office.  

Which is also a cliche thing to do in England.

And we said hello to some greedy ducks, who got a little too close for comfort.  

But I really like the awkward skinny black and white duck.

I wish I could have an awkward pet duck.

Since it's black, I'd name it Darkwing Duck.

I'd laugh at it walking awkwardly in my manicured British garden 

and we'd have our own supply of duck eggs, which is on my list.

Or maybe I'd have a goose and call it Silly.

Then it would really be a Silly Goose.

Happy Friday!

Turkish Market

We stumbled across this little Turkish market when we were shopping for house stuff the other day.

Then we came home and made a feast out of olives and baklava.  

Everything was delicious.

Markets everywhere are definitely a benefit to living in England.

My response to the market man's question of

Ginger apple, pistachio, or coconut baklava?

Yes, yes, and yes.

What can I say?

This girl likes to eat!

...and my arm fat is now reverberating in the air like my 8th grade teacher at the chalk board. 

Her A$$ was so big you could use it as a table.  

It stuck out parallel to the floor I tell you.
...and it appears I am on my way there.

Hello weight watchers....

Foggy Morning

It never felt like summer in England to me, 

though to be fair I was told I "missed it" during the 3 weeks I was in America.  

I'm not sure if I believe that, but now it is definitely fall.  

You must hate me for not picking blackberries and baking with them.  

Trust me, I hate myself.  I should get on that before the birds get to them. 

 Oh and you might be bored of the dog and horses 
being essentially the only thing I take pictures of.  

Any one want to be a model?  

I'm sure it'd be easier to make you pose than the dog....  

Our Cow Molly

Ok so I already admitted Sarah and I are bad influences on each other.

But I must confess - this one was my idea...

Please don't judge.

Our Cow Molly  makes fabulous ice cream right on their farm.

It's the best ice cream I've ever tasted.

Ever.

It's a pretty adorable little shop.  

Speaking of adorable, this little girl lives on the farm.

She introduced us to her favorite cow.

She also likes ice cream.

Note the chocolate covered chin.

I like ice cream too.

I scream for ice cream.

Is there a single picture of me on this blog where I'm not eating?

Don't answer that.

I took thousands of photos so I could make your mouths water.

I had lemon and crystallized ginger ice cream.

A little strange?  Let me assure you it was...

To Die For.

It really was delicious.  

ps.  I am back on the cleanse now.  And I have healthy recipes to share with you soon.

What do you prefer, pictures of ice cream and cupcakes or healthy fresh fruit and veggies?

Tea and Cupcakes

So about that Cleanse....

My friend, Sarah, was here until yesterday, and it didn't go so well.

I'm not sure whether she is a bad influence on me... or I am a bad influence on her.

But we are definitely a bad influence on each other.

But you only live once right?

And I had to take her to Cocoa.

It's just the cutest place ever.

I know you've seen it before.

yawn.

But it just makes me happy.

So here it is again....

We drank so much tea!

I felt little crack headish after my

2,398th cup.

Can you tell?

I think Sarah did too.

When in Rome, eh?

If you come visit me I'll take you here too.

Promise.

ps.  I missed you this week, blogosphere.

pss. That shirt I'm wearing is the first thing I've bought from a thrift store - part of number 80 on my 100 things to do list.  What do you think you fashionista bloggers - cute or totally grandma-ish?

You Yanks Like Stately Homes, Don't You?

When I asked the girls on my rowing team where I should take my American friend, Sarah, 

Chatsworth - "a stately home" was recommended.

So thats where we went.

We had a great time.

We took silly pictures with sculptures....

Played dress up.

Wandered around the beautifully manicured gardens.

And imagined how great life would be if we had diamond encrusted tiaras to wear to our next fabulous dinner party in that fancy dining room.

Everything was absolutely beautiful.

Apparently it's often used as a location for Vogue photo shoots.  

I don't do outfit posts, but I do do stuffing my face with brie and cranberry crepes from the food market that just happened to be going on in front of the house.

Yeah so the cleanse/diet didn't go so well yesterday...

But it was a delicious addition to a fabulous day!

Hope your weekend is extra fun!

Happy 4th of July my patriotic friends.

Please wear your red, white and blue and sing I'm proud to be an American for me.

I think my America pride is generally frowned upon over here...

Chocolate Tasting Evening at Cocoa

Since moving to England I have become addicted to tea.

When in Rome, eh?

I must admit it took me awhile to "get" what the British obsession with tea is all about.

But last night we went to Cocoa, 

a tea and chocolate shop with our new cougar club for a chocolate tasting evening.  

If only someone would've taken me to this place when I first arrived...

I would've jumped on the tea bandwagon much much sooner.

Isn't it the cutest?  

The adorable shop owner took us on a tasting journey 

from 100% dark chocolate all the way up to white chocolate.

I thought I hated white chocolate, 

but I realized I just have never been given the good stuff.

We also got a doggy bag of truffles.  

I am the annoying person who always eats half of each one....

In the front of the shop there were rows of candy and and tons of chocolate.  

My favorite was dark chocolate flavored with chili and lime... 

I never knew what my life was missing until I tasted that.

Delicious!

I have a feeling I will be taking American visitors here and helping them to get on the tea train.

Is it cheating if chocolate is involved?

Hello Sunshine!

The rain has finally stopped here in England!  Doodle and I are excited.  We LOVE sunshine!!!  Can you believe we actually had the heating on last week?  I'm not even joking.  It was freezing!  But today finally feels like summer.

Can I get a hallelujah?!

I must admit all that rain is making for some spectacular flowers.  I love those perfectly sculpted bushes - it's probably not surprising that a really anal old man lives in that cottage... and Heidi likes to take shits in front of his house!  Awkward.  One time she was producing like a machine and I ran out of poo bags, and of course she pops a squat right in front of his gate - I tried to quickly drag her away, but he caught me!  He was all "I hope you're gonna clean that up!" and I had to explain that I was out of baggies so he got me one from his house and watched me with crazy hawk eyes as I pooper scooped it up.  So embarrassing...

Hope the sun is shining where you are today!  Thanks for all the good advice about making non-cougar friends yesterday!

Cougars on the Prowl

One of the things I miss most about being home is my friends.  Coming from a place like Cincinnati, you grow up with people, and I am lucky to have made long lasting friendships there.  But in England it's been a real challenge to find my niche.  Actually, our niche, I would love to have mutual friends with Nick, as this is something us long distance lovebirds have never experienced.

In order to solve this problem Nick and I recently joined An adventure, sports, and social group.  Membership isn't to expensive, and they have all sorts of activities you can sign up for - galas, dinner parties, hiking, caving, bungee jumping, sailing, walking with wolves, photography weekends, etc.  We thought there were some fun things and figured we'd try it out for a few months and see how it goes.

Monday night was the new members evening at a pub in the city.  All informal meetings in England occur in pubs - fact.  Nick and I walked into a room of full of chatty mature birds, a handful of youngish people, and a few men.  Nice.  Then the coordinator spent AN HOUR AND A HALF teaching us how to use their website and FACEBOOK.  Um is this really necessary?  Even my technophobic mother has figured out how to use facebook.  Clearly, this is not aimed at our generation.

But wait, they did highlight the Under 40 events for their young members.  I don't mean to be rude, but 40 isn't exactly young is it?  Or do I just need to give these mature birds a chance?  

The next morning I met this old guy while walking the dog - typical, right?  I mentioned how Nick and I were looking to establish our social circle here, and he said, "Well you're a bit young for it, but have you heard of Spice?"  As a matter of fact sir, I have!  

He then proceeded to tell me how you can do some fun things with them, but the club is mostly full of old divorced women looking to find their true love later on in life.  In case you mature birds don't know, us youngins refer to these women as Cougars.  

We're still going to give this adventure club thing a chance, but if our first impressions serve us right - it looks like we've joined a cougar club.  

How do you make friends in a new city?

I would love to make one good girlfriend who is my age.  

Any tips?

Doncaster Regatta

On Saturday I had my first regatta with my new rowing team.  It was a very nasty, rainy day.  I only had one race and it sure wasn't the most fabulous race of my life...

The river was so small, and right off the dock we were in the way of the race coming down the course.  We moved aside as quickly as possible, bulldozing into a single and receiving a "Warning" from the officials.

The start of the race was a total disorganized traffic jam with boats running into each other.  It was a floating start (meaning was no one there to hold the boats in place and its tricky to get everyone lined up evenly).  So we were heading straight for the trees at the start... Not good.

The other crew were beating us from the get go, but we managed to catch up with them and were neck and neck around the half way point...

Then we decided to do a pretty brutal push to win...

Check out those faces!  Pretty darn extreme, huh?  But we got flustered and couldn't keep it together.  They walked straight past us and won the race by a long shot.

All in all not a successful day - I looked like a soggy lobster and had nothing to show for it.

Hopefully I'll have better luck next weekend!  Oh and I hope you like those rowing pics Nick took.  I dragged him along to the race, he's never watched me row before and he has now decided that rowing is the most boring sport ever and never wants to come to a regatta ever again.  Thanks for your support, honey!

93. Donate Blood

Today I went with my sketchy old man neighbor, Bill, to donate blood.  He lives in this super neat very cliche British farmhouse cottage that Heidi and I always pass while out on our hikes.  He mentioned he volunteered for the Red Cross or something, and I mentioned that donating blood was on my bucket list.

So we made a "date".  He picked me up around 10 this morning and we went to donate together.  He is a little forth coming and frequently says seedy things like "have you told your husband about me..."  Today he was very complimentary of my hair and called me beautiful, which I have to admit is quite flattering, even if he is older than my dad.  I must say a huge thank you to the very sweet nurse who made him well aware of this fact by asking if I was his daughter, she definitely put him back in his place, if only for 5 minutes.

Anyways the donating of blood part was pretty ordinary, anti-climatic in fact.  I have been wanting to do it ever since I was told I couldn't (I'm like that you know?), because of my trip to Africa.  Anyways 5-10 minutes with a needle in your arm and you're finished.  bingo bango bongo.  Just like that.  Well actually it seemed to drag on.  I wish they would've put posters on the ceilings like in the a dentists' or something.  

I wish I had a better funnier story for you, but unfortunately I don't.  It was just an ordinary blood donating experience I guess. Well as ordinary  as you can get when donating blood with strange older men.  After we donated Bill and I met Nick for lunch, and the men folk talked politics.  *yawn*

At least now 93 is cross off my list!  So I feel accomplished and hopefully someone out there will benefit from my blood!  It's pretty exciting actually, I could've saved someone's life today!  How cool is that?

Cultural Difference : Appliances

Owning appliances in England just isn't considered the absolute necessity that it is in America.  I'm not talking about appliances like a Kitchen-aid, I'm talking dishwashers and clothes dryers.  Yes, that's right dishwashers!  Nick never had a dishwasher growing up and I can't remember life without one.  We finally got one put into his old house, and then we moved.  Our rental property does not have a dishwasher and nor do most the houses we're looking at buying right now.


I HATE this fact.  I'm not a fan of dishpan hands.  Call me a lazy American if you will, and yes I'm not the domestic diva that I wish I could be, but seriously, would you like standing over the sink for at least 45 minutes a day doing yesterdays dishes, sweating as you immerse your yellow rubber gloved hands into the hottest water possible, scraping congealed orange juice off of glassware and cooked on tidbits from pots and pans?  Yeah, thats what I thought.  


Now get this, my husband told me recently that he didn't even have a washing machine until he was 18!!  18!!! You think you know somebody, and then they tell you something like that!  Apparently he had what he calls a "spinning machine"  which he described as a massive salad spinner but for your clothes.  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  Have you ever heard of such a thing?!  It sounds like something those Little House on the Prairie people would use.  I've never even heard my parents talk about not having a washing machine, and that sounds just like the sort of "when I was your age..." type of shit my dad loves to spew when telling my sisters and I how spoiled we are.  


Now you may be wondering just how old my husband is seeing as it sounds like he grew up decades before me....  You must be thinking I'm a gold digger after all his moolah when he kicks the bucket right?  Well he's 27.    


The thing is, in a third world country you would expect this kinda crap.  But England is supposed to be pretty on par with America.  So let me just say, respectfully, England...

GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

Riverford is such a great scheme.  We order a "box" and get to be surprised with fruits and veggies we would never really think to buy.  This week's super fun veggie (or is it a fruit?) was rhubarb.  I was pumped.  My great grandpa used to make a mean strawberry rhubarb pie, so I decided it would be great to reproduce it here and blog about it.  After much investigative work (two emails), it has been concluded that Papa's rhubarb pie recipe died when he did (at the ripe old age of 100!), and it is no longer to be found.  Or else my mom and aunt are just too busy to go hunting for these things and it will turn up somewhere one day... fingers crossed!

Until then, I needed a substitute, and I found one, over at Dessert for Breakfast.  I was totally blown away with her photos and thought, man if this girl is half as good at cooking as she is at food photography this recipe is not going to disappoint.... (seriously, go check out her pictures for some mouth watering food porno).

And woo hoo it sure didn't!  The crumble was sweet, but with just enough salt to contrast the sweetness of the fruit, and a bit of orange zest for extra complexity.

I called Nick on his way home from work (he had a very big, important day yesterday thats why I made this for him, really I swear... ) and I asked him to pick up some vanilla ice cream at the corner store where he gets off the bus... They were out of vanilla, so he got strawberry.  Works for me!!

This is seriously SO good.  I'm not going to post the recipe, because I followed it spot on and you can see it here.

Oh and that ice cream?  I am a little afraid to say this, but my dear Cincinnatians, it beats Graeters... It's from a Sheffield company called Our Cow Molly, and I have never tasted ice cream so delicious.  Apparently they make it with milk and cream from their own cows right on the farm.  Nick and I are planning to go there soon, so I'll keep you posted.  Until then, I will be hiding from my fellow Cincinnatians for saying such blaspheming things against Graeters....

Hey, Hey, Hey...

Hey random a-hole from Brazil that hacked into my gmail account and screwed up my blog,

 I don't like you one bit.  

But I'm glad you haven't accessed anything more important.

Hey GRE vocab words,

Why are you so obscure? No one uses you in real life.

But I got flashcards with you on them, 

and I'm going to have you all memorized very soon.

Hey Heat Radio,

You're my favorite radio station in England. 

Please keep playing such awesome jams.

Hey English bus drivers,

Why can't you ever understand me?  I'm speaking English.

Hey Husband,

I'm sorry I complain so much about not having a car.  

Your joke about me donating my legs to someone who would actually use them wasn't that hilarious, 

but I get your point.

Hey Girls My Age in Sheffield,

Why must you all dye your hair unnatural colors and pop out so many babies?

No offense to your babies, but they don't seem like much fun at our age.

Hey Cups of Tea and Biscuits,

Our relationship has got to end.  

I've become addicted to you since living in England, 

and you're making me fat.

Hey Blogging Friends,

Thanks for reading the crap that I write. 

Sorry if I haven't been leaving comments on your lovely blogs lately.

Our internet isn't working well at all.

Until next time...

Cheers!

Job Centre Plus

I have a story to share with you.  I wasn't sure whether to share it or not, because I don't want this blog to get emo or anything, but I think it's worthwhile and I hope maybe someone will benefit from it.  I try not to talk about it much on here because it is such a debbie downer topic, but being unemployed is playing a huge role in my life right now.  I'm writing this for those of you who are in the same boat, I know you're out there.  I know you are lonely.  I know you're trying your best.  I know that no matter what people say, "staying positive" becomes harder with each failed job application.  Not giving up becomes more and more difficult.  I don't have advice, but I wanted to share this because being unemployed is quite possibly the loneliest experience ever.  Not only do you most likely not interact with many people during the day, because you are at home applying for jobs, but you don't have the spare cash to really get involved, to go out, and to enjoy life.  They say the best things in life are free, but lets face it, at least the second best things in life cost money.  Don't get me wrong here, Nick makes enough money to support us, and we're not doing horribly, but if I could find work we would really be living the good life.

Nick has been telling me to go to Job Centre Plus, for a couple weeks now.  Job Centre Plus is a government run organization that helps you find work and gives people "benefits" which I think is just a British term for welfare.  Nick insisted that there would be jobs there that I couldn't find online, and after much kicking and screaming, we made a bargain and I finally went.

I haven't felt so embarrassed since junior year of high school when I ripped the loudest fart during a test in math class.  I was there, me and my little white girl suburban raised American self, with the derelicts of society.  The Job Centre was really busy, and I waited in line and when I got to the front desk I told the woman I just wanted help finding a job, someone to reread my resume.  She looked at me confused, "You don't want benefits?"  No.  I just want help finding a job.  She didn't know what to do.  Could they even help me if I didn't want to make a claim?  She sent me to a job kiosk, which are basically crappy computers which direct you to the same jobs they post on their website, while I was instructed to wait for a man named James who may or may not be able to help me.

I pretended to look for jobs but I was pretty distracted by the crowd.  One man cussing at security and making loud, rude jokes, people smelling like cigarettes and BO, small children crying, most people had tattoos on their necks and many had piercings, almost all of them were in really crappy clothes.  Then there were a few who reminding me of myself, they were well presented and had this look of "What the fuck has my life come to" smeared across their face.  I saw one guy I knew from walking the dog, he told me he moved to Sheffield for work last time I spoke to him.  I wondered whether he was lying when he told me about his job before, or whether he just got fired.  I avoided him to spare us both the humiliation.

Finally I was able to meet with this James character.  He was really nice, told me my resume was perfect and I shouldn't have trouble finding a job.  He didn't really know what to do with me because I have a degree and most the people he helps don't.  He stuttered a little and couldn't spell a lot of words, but he tried his best to help me and told me he may know of a position opening up at a dog groomers because the last derelict they hired was probably going to get himself fired.  Cool.  Anyways I think he liked me because I was polite and well educated.  So I hope he remembers me if something comes up.  I think he will.

I left feeling better than when I arrived.  At least I know that I'm trying, that I'm taking advantage of the resources available to me, even if they don't seem very useful.  And I knew that I wasn't alone.  The recession is hitting hard, and this place was crowded, and even if it was mostly crowded with people looking for a free handout, there were still a few of us who just wanted a little help finding a job.  And sometimes just knowing that you're not alone is enough to get you through the day.

Welcome to Our Neighborhood : Part 2

Just wanted to share some more pretty photos with you from this weekend.  Sheffield is SO beautiful sometimes it just takes your breath away.  We love our neighborhood, and we've started looking for houses to buy here when our lease is up - but we can't find anything for sale!  Seems like everyone who lives here never wants to leave!

Could these pictures make our life seem any more perfect?

I just love both of them so very much and going on walks is our favorite.  Especially when the flowers are blooming like crazy!!

Eeek there I am in my dog walking uniform.  Must go shopping this week and buy all your recommendations...

Don't get jealous, it's not really as perfect as it looks.  It actually rained A LOT this weekend, and Monday was a holiday here so Nick had work off.  We kept wanting to go explore, and every time it looked sunny we'd say "Oh, it's cleared up lets go!" and then it would start hailing.  One thing about the weather in England - it's not horrible, but it is SO unpredictable.

So mostly all we actually did this weekend was watch the World Snooker Championships which were being held in the city center.  This might possibly be the most boring sport EVER.  When we went to bed last night the final match had been going on for 10 hours!  And it continued on to the morning!  I have to admit it got a lot more interesting at the end because these poor guys looked like they were going to lose their minds any minute.

Oh and I made Nick work on HIS bucket list.  He doesn't like bucket lists at all.  He thinks they're depressing because we can't afford to do half the things on my bucket list at the moment, plus he is just a happy go lucky kinda guy and barely wants anything.  But he has decided that he wants to learn to play Snooker and go to the Championships next year.  I'm supposed to accompany him.

Shoot. Me. Now.

Welcome to Our Neighborhood : Part 1

Hi Friends,

I've had a few requests to show you around the neighborhood so I took some pictures this morning while we were walking Heidi.  I want to show you the cute little stereotypical British cottages around here, but the weather just isn't cooperating.  Hope you enjoy these for now.

The local primary school

Our humble abode