I would also like to say that besides crying over the fact that my husband thinks I look like Michael Moore this easter we rented a car.  Nick sucked at driving a lot at first.  I don't know why I told him not to get the extra rental insurance, because he scraped the front end up on the first day.  But he's getting better.  And we have gotten to do a lot of countryside exploring because of it.  (We haven't done much city exploring because he is still afraid of driving in the city...) Anyways here are some pictures from our recent adventures...

It's lambing season!!!  

We walked through fields and fields of sheep.  

It was almost too much for the doodle. 

Do you know that they chop the little lambs tails off?

Well they do.  

And Heidi found one.

Fun little perk of country life right there.  

She's nothing but trouble....

 
Oh and here is my skinny husband who seems to just think that he is on the Crazy Sexy Diet with me because he occasionally eats the food I make (in addition to chips and chocolate and other junk..) and now the little ass he had has completely disappeared.  It just goes from thigh to lower back.

Meanwhile I have yet to lose anything significant...

Anyways.... How cute is this little cottage we stumbled across....

These chickens live there....

And it's even cuter because it's on a reservoir.  

I told Nick I would stay in England if we could have our own chickens and horses and live in this cottage.

It's just so cute.

But then we stumbled across this...

Which upped the standards.  

You can't see that well from the picture, 

sorry it had high walls.

But we snooped, and just imagine Misslewaithe Manor where Mary Lennox was sent to in the

 Secret Garden book.  

The Secret Garden was set in Yorkshire where we live.

Yep.  We might move here.

Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow?

More on gardening related activities in my next post.

And I promise to post the mango quinoa recipe soon since so many of u have asked.

Kisses skinny bitches!

- Kelly Leigh

Chocolate and Immigration

Oooooooooooo  Chocolate!!!  

Hi Friends,

This is me on Sunday night after Nick gave me a massive chocolate Easter egg.  

They're all the rage here.  

Forget about dying eggs or easter baskets.  

Just get a big ol fuckin chocolate egg.  

And make it dark chocolate.  Thanks.

You may be wondering why I look so.... rough.  

Well can I be honest? 

Great.  Cuz we are usually honest around here.

The previous night Nick and I were having a discussion about immigration issues and we recently discovered I would have to pay £1,000 to renew my visa when it expires in September.  I'm not even exaggerating this time.

Enter emotional breakdown.  

Conversation between husband and myself went something as follows:

Nick: Why are you crying?

Me:  (lip quivering) I just feel it's so unfair.  I pay taxes.  I live here.  

Why don't they like me?  

Nick : They don't know you.  They just want your money.

Me:  I know it just makes me feel like I don't belong.....  

tear.  sob.  

I don't belong anywhere anymore!  

I can't go a day without someone making fun of my American twang.  

And I'm not even American enough anymore. 

 If I went home now I wouldn't fit in like I used to.  

I say things like "quite lovely."  

I actually believe in universal health care.  

I run for buses.  

Nick, 

I don't even believe in guns anymore! 

(The horror!)

Nick: Kelly lot's of Americans don't believe in guns... 

like Michael Moore.

Me : MICHAEL MOORE!  

Gasp.  Sob. choke. tears.  

You think I am Michael Moore!  

I don't want to be like Michael Moore....

He is fat.....

Nick : .....And he has a beard.

Me: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.!!!

Sob sob sob.

You think I have a beard!?

Choke.  Sob.  River of tears.

I HATE MY LIFE!

Update

Dear Friends, and Family, and Random people who read this blog,


Some of you have been wondering where I've gone.  And I must tell you that I haven't gone anywhere.  The truth is I have been right here fighting an epic battle with the legendary BORE-asauraus rex.  A gigantic but stealthy creature that seems to engulf your life.  You know the type - making your job tedious, and then forcing you to sit on your ass watching at least two episodes of Niptuck with your husband every night (damn you dvd delivery companies) while you develop an ever growing secretary spread and when you look at your ass in the mirror you begin to wonder whether it was possible for you to confuse your colleague saying "I know" under his breath with calling you a "wide load".  No?  Is this just me?  


Anywhodiddle doodle, to pick up where we left off I was on the Crazy Sexy Diet and I can report to you on a few things now.  The author said to expect mood swings, what I didn't know was that on Wednesday I would be brought to tears by an old people's choir singing Ain't No Mountain High Enough.  And then on Thursday I would become a blubbering mess because I was too bored and proceed to scarf down a massive cupcake thinking that would cure me.  I am sure the fact that this coinciding with certain monthly cycles did not help one bit.  But such is life.  On the physical side of things, I have lost a little weight.  The best affect this diet has had on me though is I don't have cravings.  Yes you heard right, I don't actually want to eat junk food.  It just doesn't do it for me anymore.  knock on wood.


Sugar is gone, cheese is gone, eggs are gone, gluten is gone (and I have no more tummy aches.) Also maybe this is TMI but I hardly ever fart now.  I don't really know if I was an above average farter to begin with - I mean how many a day is average?  Well now it is significantly less which is really quite beneficial and I hardly ever have to pull a fart and run now. (less beneficial if you need amo for cupcaking younger siblings, but thats not such a problem these days.)  OK I'm sorry for acting like a 10 year old boy.  


So here are some of the new recipes I've been making up / learning since being on this diet.  


Samosa Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

And Mango, Mexican bean Quinoa

I feel like no one ever actually makes the recipes so I won't bother posting them unless people really want them.  Ask and ye shall receive.  But they were both inspired by Veganomicon.


hugs and kisses blog land.


-Kelly Leigh

Spring Cleaning Detox

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Ladies and gentlemen.
 (gentlemen this is going to be diet talk, don't let me bore you, go watch the news or something.)


I bet you are wondering how my detoxing went so I figured I'd give you a long rambling update.  


I started The Juice Master's  3 Day Juice Detox which he outlines in his book, Keeping It Simple, which came free when I bought a juicer (This one, which I LOVE) after reading Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Diet.





I wanted to jump start my healthy eating program as outlined in the Crazy Sexy Diet with The Juice Master's 3 day detox, so I did that last week.  And let me tell you 3 days without food turned me into a cranky old monster. RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!   BUT, Hallelujah! I did lose 5 pounds in 3 days!  Nick said this is not surprising considering there was NO food in my stomach.  Gah I hate it when he's right!  Unfortunately I don't think those 5 pounds are gone for good because I think I have already gained two of them back.  But whatever.  I'd like to tell you I reached "enLIGHTenment" like the juice master promised but that, my friends, would be a load of donkey kong.  Too bad, cuz I am usually searching for enlightenment.


So anyways yesterday Nick and I officially started The Crazy Sexy Diet (seriously the name is so embarrassing) Today I had to tell my boss I couldn't have the eclaire he was offering me because I'm on a Crazy Sexy Diet and then I winked at him.... (ok thats a lie I told him I was detoxing and considering he is a middle aged male he still thought this was funny and ridiculous)  Also Nick has told his colleagues that he is on the "Crazy Sexy Diet" which is also embarrassing for him.  Since he is a dude and all.  Good thing I taught him the phrase "no homo" which I learned from Chad Johnson's facebook followers.  So useful.  Thanks Chad for your contribution to society.  Too bad the use of the word homo is seriously offensive in England since they are very politically correct over here.  So if Nick really did say to his colleagues "I am on the Crazy Sexy Diet, no homo" he would probably get fired or at least scolded.  OK just wanted you to know I make up stories.  hope you see their comedic value.


So anyways the crazy sexy diet is no animal, no gluten, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol.  And LOTS of veggies!  And green juice (which is why I had to buy a juicer).  I'm also supposed to get exercise and meditate (whaaaaaaaaa?  yes it's a bit of new age hippy bologna) but I missed my bus to the gym this morning and went back to bed where my husband was spooning my dog, luckily they made a teensy bit of room for me.  sluts.  Yikes, ok I am ADD today, but I would just like to say that yesterday I had a bad headache and today I am sad.  For no reason.  Except I keep thinking I am homesick because summer is just around the corner and Britain pretty much has no summer, and I like my summers to be Wet, Hot, American and WILD.  And only the wet part is possible in Britain.  


Please let me know if you want to continue being updated on this Crazy Sexy business.  I have 19 more days...


Over and out.


Kelly Leigh