Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Chocolate and Immigration

Oooooooooooo  Chocolate!!!  

Hi Friends,

This is me on Sunday night after Nick gave me a massive chocolate Easter egg.  
They're all the rage here.  
Forget about dying eggs or easter baskets.  
Just get a big ol fuckin chocolate egg.  
And make it dark chocolate.  Thanks.

You may be wondering why I look so.... rough.  
Well can I be honest? 
Great.  Cuz we are usually honest around here.

The previous night Nick and I were having a discussion about immigration issues and we recently discovered I would have to pay £1,000 to renew my visa when it expires in September.  I'm not even exaggerating this time.

Enter emotional breakdown.  
Conversation between husband and myself went something as follows:

Nick: Why are you crying?

Me:  (lip quivering) I just feel it's so unfair.  I pay taxes.  I live here.  
Why don't they like me?  

Nick : They don't know you.  They just want your money.

Me:  I know it just makes me feel like I don't belong.....  
tear.  sob.  
I don't belong anywhere anymore!  
I can't go a day without someone making fun of my American twang.  
And I'm not even American enough anymore. 
 If I went home now I wouldn't fit in like I used to.  
I say things like "quite lovely."  
I actually believe in universal health care.  
I run for buses.  
Nick, 
I don't even believe in guns anymore! 
(The horror!)

Nick: Kelly lot's of Americans don't believe in guns... 
like Michael Moore.

Me : MICHAEL MOORE!  
Gasp.  Sob. choke. tears.  
You think I am Michael Moore!  
I don't want to be like Michael Moore....
He is fat.....

Nick : .....And he has a beard.

Me: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.!!!
Sob sob sob.
You think I have a beard!?
Choke.  Sob.  River of tears.
I HATE MY LIFE!

6 comments:

  1. michele vollman27 April 2011 at 12:57

    I hope that chocolate egg made you feel better!! I think you are too funny sometimes !Life is certainly hard to understand sometimes but He always has a plan for you. Just Trust in Him and you will feel better!
    Love you ,
    Mom

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  2. £1,000 ?!?!

    holy
    freaking
    cow.

    I am so sorry. that sucks. it. truly. does.

    Take two eggs and call me in the morning? Ok, not even funny. Sorry lady. :(

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  3. Mother of God..that much loot to renew?? I feel your pain...my bloody green card is up next year and I have commenced freaking out. Like you I don't fit in Canada anymore, yet don't quite fit here either. PASS THE EGG!!

    xoxo,
    c

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  4. And to think Kate just spent $82,000 on an enchanted forest at Westminster oh well just think of it as $1,000 for an extended vacation. Love ya Dad

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  5. Ohh Im so sorry about it all, darling! That is so not fair! Hope the egg was yummy. Kisses and hugs

    Ps: I’m hosting a beautiful jewelry GIVEAWAY today! Just in time for Mother’s Day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope that giant egg helped with some of your sadness.
    I'm sorry they are robbing you blind to renew. What a racket.

    {in other news ... and because I like to make things about me ... I OFTEN feel like I don't belong anywhere either. Like I don't have a "home" and am caught between two different places. I'm so sorry you are hurting!!! Does misery kinda like company? Or am I just totally self-obsessed?} {don't answer that last question... please}

    A Foreign Land

    ReplyDelete

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