Bleh.

Dear September First,

You are really irritating to me.

Today I could have done without:

• Nick's broken toe (the week he took off work to do DIY with me.  Damn you, osteogenesis imperfecta)
• Heidi's insane amounts of energy.  Pawing at back door for 45 minutes straight this morning when we locked her outside to get a little extra shut eye - check. 
• The fridge breaking today.  
• The fridge magically fixing itself after I called the rental people to tell them it was broken. Doesn't that just make you look like an a-hole?  Oh and they already HATE us.
• It being September first and it reminding me that I don't think I have worked on any of my New Year's resolutions.  Time is a ticking and making me feel like I am in the midst of a quarter life crisis.
• The wallpaper in our new house REFUSING to come down.  And then the wall paper steamer breaking.
• Paint colors looking significantly different on the cards than they do on the walls.  How many samples is it reasonable to buy?  I'm pushing 20 and the husband is not a fan of this process.
• My American drivers license being good for one year and now I need a British one to be allowed to drive here.  

However, there are a few things I am glad for today:

• That there is one restaurant within walking distance of where we live.  And we had a good lunch date there today.
• At least the Doodle's energy can be funny.  (Using Nick's head as a stepping stool to climb on to the window ledge and giving him a bruised face in the process - check.  He looks gangsta now)
• Self help books.  I bought the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People at the airport.  Who am I?  I wonder if I will become highly effective?
• We ordered a brand new kitchen yesterday!  And we got it from the expensive place (Thank you 50% off sale!  You make me feel like a classy girl.)
• We might finally have a car soon!  Thank God.
• We bought a bed for the guest room yesterday.  And it is only 3 weeks till we have our first guest - who I haven't seen in 3 years!!!!!!  OMG!! I'm excited!!!
• Bloggers.  I like you guys.  Thanks for reading this crap I come out with.

That is all.

God is a Comedian

Dear God,

You really are a card.  Remember that deal we made freshman year?  I was a slave to H&M and we decided after I got my degree I would not be like the people I worked with.  (OK maybe I decided that myself).  Anyways, remember them?  I'm sure you do seeing as you're God and all.  One of them had a degree in human resources and the other one was qualified to be a nurse.  I don't know why the HR guy worked there, but I know the one who was qualified to be a nurse didn't pursue a job nursing because she would have to take a drug test if she was a nurse, and that would interfere with a few of her lifestyle choices.

Via

But I made (mostly) good decisions.  I studied really hard.  I even went to summer school to load up on extra classes.  I did pretty well.  And everyone said I'd get a good job because I'm "smart."  I never thought I was smart.  You and me both know I'm just really good at memorizing things.  But if enough people tell you something, you start to believe it.

Via

So God,  I think you're having a laugh right now.  It must have been pretty funny to watch me blubber my way through my interview for a grown up job last week, pretending I'm an adult with my Sarah Palin hair and my Sarah Palin business suit, but none of her confidence - even though I prayed to you 72907123 times before I walked through that door.

Via

 And today, I go to drop a resume off at an Italian restaurant chain, at a job I barely want, and a guy wearing a TAZMANIAN DEVIL tie interviews me.  Look, I know he is one of your children and all, but seriously, a tazmanian devil tie?

Via

And I'm supposed to work FOR him?  Assuming I get the job, which I'm pretty confident I did.  That's great.  Thanks for helping me live up to my potential.

Love,
Kelly

ps.  I'm just kidding, God.  I do appreciate the potential source of income if I get the job.

A Letter of Hatred to the Recession

Dear Recession,

Once again I would like to tell you how much you suck.  In fact, I would like to flip two middle fingers in the air to you and spit in your face, if only you had one.

Because of you and my current state of funemployment, I am unable to attend my dear friend Amy's wedding.  I was so excited to be her bridesmaid and see her get married to the lovely Ben in Chicago this August.

Amy and Ben about to jump into the FROZEN Lake Michigan, 

in support of Invisible Conflicts, an awesome charity which Amy is super involved in.

Amy was my all time favorite college roomie and we had planned and discussed wedding topics all senior year.  I was very excited to see how hers panned out (and if it was as awesome as mine). Recession, you're really taking the FUN out of funemployment.

I was going to wear this dress (which isn't cooperating and won't let me paste it into blogger) in Marine.  I'd probably look a little fat in it as it stands, which is why I have been rowing extra hard AND running home from practice.  I wanted to be a banging hot bridesmaid.  But all that thinspiration has evaporated into thin air now that I have had to make the hard decision that the plane ticket alone is just too expensive for my unemployed self, not to mention the cost of hanging out in Chi town all week.

Oh and I almost forgot, the fact that British Airways is having strikes, and there is a volcano erupting and screwing up flights from Europe. That makes buying a $1,000 plane ticket seem like a ridiculous Vegas style gamble, and I don't think unemployed people should gamble in Vegas.

Going to Chicago was going to be a blast, I was going to cross off Go On A Cupcake Crawl from my list of 100 Things To Do, I was going to see my friends, and my family was going to come up from Cincinnati for a few days to visit.  And of course there would be lots of wedding related shenanigans!

So Recession, if I could punch you I would.  I hate your guts.  You make me want to scream the F-bomb repeatedly.  Just thought you should know.

Yours with the utmost detestation and burning hatred,

Kelly

PS.  I haven't totally given up hope, if I get a job we're back in the financial clear and I can go!  Please keep your fingers crossed for me!  I need all the help I can get!