Today I am a Negative Nancy

I just need to spill my guts today.  I hope you're OK with that.  

I don't know whether it is the changing of seasons here right now, or the fact that I have inhaled a lot of paint fumes lately, but I am feeling pretty down in the dumps.

It might also be the fact that I've lived off mostly microwaveable food for the past 3 weeks, and it is sure doing weird things to my body.  My skin is worse than it was in high school, I feel fat and bloated, have no energy, and let's just say Nick and I would both benefit from this right now.  I'm not even joking.  How do people live like this all the time?  The large lady in front of us at the grocery store the other day was buying Mac and cheese IN A CAN.  I dry heaved.  Literally.  I didn't even know that existed till then.  The good news is our kitchen arrives Thursday and should be fully functioning by the beginning of next week.

Furthermore, every time I look at the doorsteps of our neighbors, which are devoid of any pumpkins or other Halloween decorations I feel kind of homesick.  Reading your blogs with pretty pictures of fall, apple picking, and Halloween decor is not doing me any good either.  I'm jealous and willing to admit that.  

Lastly, the fact that it is currently mid October and Christmas decorations are on sale is making me feel super anxious about life.  I feel like I have been very unproductive this year.  Like my personal world is changing around me but I'm not really making any of these changes happen like I should be, and I need to be a whole lot more active and creative and goal oriented.  I constantly feel like a lost puppy.  The good news is next week I managed to get 5 weeks of paid work, which will be the first work I have had since December last year, and bringing home a little bacon is sure to make me feel slightly more productive.

Do you ever think about how much time you waste watching TV, facebooking, or whatever else your vice is?  I wish I didn't check my email, facebook, and reader every 5 minutes.  My life would certainly NOT be worse off, but I can't seem to restrain myself.  I think it's an addiction.  Does anyone else have this problem.  Better yet, does anyone have a cure for this problem?  

Also, we really need cheap furniture, and there is no Ikea around here slash we don't have a car (did I mention my license is expired in England now, so even though we want one, I can't drive until I pass the super hard British test, which takes months to book anyways?).  Where do you buy cheap furniture thats not Ikea or stolen from your mom (mum)?  Our clothes are currently hanging in cardboard boxes.  It's not working too well.

That's all.  Sorry for writing an essay.