Tree Climbing

When was the last time you climbed a tree?

Better yet... when was the last time you climbed a tree,

pretended to be Micheal Jackson,

and grabbed your crotch...

while singing Man in the Mirror?

Just wondering....

If it's been awhile, 

I highly recommend you find your nearest tree,

and give it a go.

Trust me on this one.

God is a Comedian

Dear God,

You really are a card.  Remember that deal we made freshman year?  I was a slave to H&M and we decided after I got my degree I would not be like the people I worked with.  (OK maybe I decided that myself).  Anyways, remember them?  I'm sure you do seeing as you're God and all.  One of them had a degree in human resources and the other one was qualified to be a nurse.  I don't know why the HR guy worked there, but I know the one who was qualified to be a nurse didn't pursue a job nursing because she would have to take a drug test if she was a nurse, and that would interfere with a few of her lifestyle choices.

Via

But I made (mostly) good decisions.  I studied really hard.  I even went to summer school to load up on extra classes.  I did pretty well.  And everyone said I'd get a good job because I'm "smart."  I never thought I was smart.  You and me both know I'm just really good at memorizing things.  But if enough people tell you something, you start to believe it.

Via

So God,  I think you're having a laugh right now.  It must have been pretty funny to watch me blubber my way through my interview for a grown up job last week, pretending I'm an adult with my Sarah Palin hair and my Sarah Palin business suit, but none of her confidence - even though I prayed to you 72907123 times before I walked through that door.

Via

 And today, I go to drop a resume off at an Italian restaurant chain, at a job I barely want, and a guy wearing a TAZMANIAN DEVIL tie interviews me.  Look, I know he is one of your children and all, but seriously, a tazmanian devil tie?

Via

And I'm supposed to work FOR him?  Assuming I get the job, which I'm pretty confident I did.  That's great.  Thanks for helping me live up to my potential.

Love,
Kelly

ps.  I'm just kidding, God.  I do appreciate the potential source of income if I get the job.

90. Have Portraits of Everyone in My Family : Heidi

I painting this the other night while watching Big Brother.  Have you guys heard of that?  I think it ran for a few years in the US but it's a pretty big deal here.  It's just a bunch of people living in a house with no TV, no internet, no phones, etc.  They get really bored and then there's a bunch of drama/romance/etc - kind of reminds me of summer camp actually.  I'm embarrassed to say I'm addicted.  But at least I multi task!

Do we see the resemblance?

Speaking of my bucket list, I'm planning a chicago cupcake crawl for when I go over next week!  I'm so excited!  Any Chicagoans who need a sugar high are welcome to join!
It will probably occur on Wednesday July 4th.

Regretsy...

Dear Friends,

I have a story to share with you regarding the worst $12 I have ever spent.  A few weeks ago before our one year wedding anniversary (the paper anniversary I might add), I had plans to get the wedding vows we wrote together framed as a gift to the husband.  Well on the only day I could look for them without him asking what the hell I was doing, I could not find them anywhere.  I went into panic mode.  I couldn't find our vows and time was a ticking if I wanted to get him a gift before the big day....

In desperation I went online and searched "first anniversary gifts".  One recommendation was a piece of artwork,  totally nails that "paper" thing, but what piece of artwork would he want that we can actually afford?  I remembered when we were in a shop a few months ago he was ooing and ahhhing over this £300 painting of a meerkat family.  He likes small furry animals, especially meerkats, don't ask.

I thought maybe I could find something cheap and affordable on etsy.com.  (kind of like ebay for handmade goods for those of you who haven't heard of it and must be living under a rock or something).  And just my luck, there were meerkat photos and meerkat paintings!  I settled on an "art print" of a single meerkat head - for only $12 including shipping from Canada!  Score, right?

It arrived the day before our anniversary and I didn't have time to wrap it.  The next morning Nick brought me  up my gift and I opened up this beautiful wooden jewelry box.  (I left mine in America and have been on the hunt for a new one).  Excitedly, I gave him his gift....

WTF was I thinking?!?

Not only is it absolutely ridiculous, the seller also had an interesting interpretation of "artist print" because this was clearly printed on someones home printer and basically just looks like a big meerkat postcard. 

I think I'm going to get it framed. 

For more Etsy Regrets, check out this hilarious website... Regretsy.com

A Walk Across America

I can't get enough of this video.  

Homesickness has been rearing it's ugly head at me lately, 

and I just love how American this is.

I finished my internship at the canine hydrotherapy place on Thursday, 

and one of the clients asked me what I missed about the USA...

Salsa, warm weather and sunshine, driving with the windows down, driving for that matter, talking loudly, going to the pool, stores being open later than 5:30 pm, the American sense of humor, the mall, the way our houses look, loud sometimes obnoxious people who are full of character, wearing shorts, summer bonfires, lemonade stands, the way the skyline looks at night,  football and baseball season, corn fields and corn on the cob, bible thumping, gym shoes and baseball caps as an acceptable outfit choice, twangy accents, running into people I know everywhere I go, lightening bugs, good produce (the only thing england can grow well is strawberries), hugs instead of handshakes, everything being much bigger, clean streets, and patriotism... to name a few

I've never felt homesickness so strongly before, and I have done a lot of traveling.  There are two reasons for this, firstly, although a year ago we planned on being in the process of moving back to the US right now, the recession is making my husband very wary of what our prospects would be like back home - and the fact that we are here indefinitely makes me feel nervous.  Secondly, I've never thrown myself into life in England.  To be honest, I never wanted to live here, but it was easier for me to move here than him to move to America.  I guess I resent the fact that we're still here, but I need to make the most of this opportunity while I can.  So eff off homesickness...

How do you fight off this disease?  

And what would you miss if you moved to a far away land?

Carpe Diem, Friends.

ps. Thank you for the well wishes on the job front.  Unfortunately I was a blubbering mess at the interview.  I don't think I got it. :(